1. getting kidnapped is fine as long as the kidnapper wears a yellow hat 10

2. scarlet fever is only slightly less worse than bed bugs 9

3. dating a flower is very one-sided 8

4. call your mom 7

5. diary of a mad black magic user 6

6. acting sad will make your friends pay attention to you 5

7. last minute graduation gift 4

8. spiders make great publicists 3